Something ridiculous and wonderful we saw in Philly's Tattooed Mom bar. Outstanding.
Saturday, December 27, 2008
Saturday, December 20, 2008
Ragin' Cajun
Anyone else excited that Gambit will be in the new X-Men: Wolverine movie? He's my favorite character and they left him out of all the other movies for some reason. It's about time he got in one of them, let's just hope it doesn't suck.Saturday, November 29, 2008
Wednesday, November 19, 2008
Caves
Much has happened since I last updated........
I drove with Nathan across the country. We started in Millville, drove to Idlewild Disc Golf Course in Kentucky, then continued on to St. Louis, the Rocky Mountains, Arches National Park, the Grand Canyon and finally, Los Angeles. It was a great trip. Some parts were much better than others, but I could spend a lot of time on the road. I wish I had more friends that would do things like that with me. I jumped at the chance to go with Nate since he was going out of neccessity and I figured it would be my only shot at doing something like this unless I meet someone new that likes doing things that I do. If I get to do it again I'd like it to be warmer so camping is a better option most nights. I love camping just not when it's below freezing outside. We only camped one night. Three nights were spent in hotels and one sleeping in the car. I need to get a new cot for camping as well.
Some of the most amazing things we saw were at Arches National Park. The hikes were awesome by themselves, but the views they provided were even better. Besides LA, that is the one place I really want to get back to. Los Angeles was much better this time than the one other time I was there for a short time in traffic. I didn't want to leave. Everything there was just great.
I went to see Jonah Matranga for the second time last week with Chuck. He played in a chapel at the First Unitarian Church. It was a very intimate performance with no mics or cords of any kind, just Jonah and his acoustic guitar. It was even better this time that I kenw some of his songs.
We had a FalaFest on Friday night with me, Katie, Chuck, Jordan and Sergi. We got falafels and then hung out in the city for a while until we could get pretzels.
Saturday we went to see Bayside. They were as good as I expected them to be. They played a great selection from most of their CDs, including Dear Tragedy, Don't Call Me Peanut, They're NOT Horses, and Landing Feet First. They played all the songs you would expect also and the crowd was geared up the whole time. I've had their songs in my head since then.
I haven't gotten a job since I got back from the trip. There hasn't been anything to take and I need the money, especially with only two more pay days before Christmas. I'm not getting you anything.
I'm in a melancholy mood tonight and I need to be away from people. I usually just want to be around people, but I just want to be alone right now. Maybe it's just the certain people I might see that I don't want to be around. I need to get out of here.
I drove with Nathan across the country. We started in Millville, drove to Idlewild Disc Golf Course in Kentucky, then continued on to St. Louis, the Rocky Mountains, Arches National Park, the Grand Canyon and finally, Los Angeles. It was a great trip. Some parts were much better than others, but I could spend a lot of time on the road. I wish I had more friends that would do things like that with me. I jumped at the chance to go with Nate since he was going out of neccessity and I figured it would be my only shot at doing something like this unless I meet someone new that likes doing things that I do. If I get to do it again I'd like it to be warmer so camping is a better option most nights. I love camping just not when it's below freezing outside. We only camped one night. Three nights were spent in hotels and one sleeping in the car. I need to get a new cot for camping as well.
Some of the most amazing things we saw were at Arches National Park. The hikes were awesome by themselves, but the views they provided were even better. Besides LA, that is the one place I really want to get back to. Los Angeles was much better this time than the one other time I was there for a short time in traffic. I didn't want to leave. Everything there was just great.
I went to see Jonah Matranga for the second time last week with Chuck. He played in a chapel at the First Unitarian Church. It was a very intimate performance with no mics or cords of any kind, just Jonah and his acoustic guitar. It was even better this time that I kenw some of his songs.
We had a FalaFest on Friday night with me, Katie, Chuck, Jordan and Sergi. We got falafels and then hung out in the city for a while until we could get pretzels.
Saturday we went to see Bayside. They were as good as I expected them to be. They played a great selection from most of their CDs, including Dear Tragedy, Don't Call Me Peanut, They're NOT Horses, and Landing Feet First. They played all the songs you would expect also and the crowd was geared up the whole time. I've had their songs in my head since then.
I haven't gotten a job since I got back from the trip. There hasn't been anything to take and I need the money, especially with only two more pay days before Christmas. I'm not getting you anything.
I'm in a melancholy mood tonight and I need to be away from people. I usually just want to be around people, but I just want to be alone right now. Maybe it's just the certain people I might see that I don't want to be around. I need to get out of here.
Sunday, November 2, 2008
Almost time to go..
It's Sunday night and I have a bunch of stuff left to do before I start driving to California. Foremost would be packing but I have been spending my time watching House or.. updating blogs. I also have some art assignments I should be doing because they're due the day after I get back. I am looking forward to the trip but right now I'm just trying to make sure I get things done and I don't forget to pack anything. I'll be updating things from the road if I can get internet access sometime. I'll be updating on Twitter on the way frequently and sometimes with pictures on here. I'll need some luck to get all this stuff done but the trip should be awesome.
Monday, October 27, 2008
Wet drive
I pulled out a few great albums I haven't listened to in quite a while and had a drive in the rain tonight. Brand New's "The Devil and God are Raging Inside Me" brought back some memories, thne I went even farther back in time with "Emotion is Dead" by The Juliana Theory. Great rain music. Good memories.
Friday, October 24, 2008
Uniform
It is a strange part of getting older when you realize your perspective on things has changed so drastically. For so long it has seemed that I never felt so far removed from high school. When I would substitute for high school classes, I would often sympathize with the way the students felt and remember how it was for me. Today, also while substituting, I realized I felt very differently about things that I was once sure I would always believe.
The public school system is very flawed. It seems that it's just not working. The number of children that don't appear to be getting any education at all is quite high from what I've seen. These classes have no structure and the students have no respect. There is more time spent trying to calm the kids down or bargain with them about doing their work than there is spent teaching.
This seems to mostly be the case with the upper class. The younger children still have the fear of adults that they will often listen when yelled at. The older students simply disrespect teachers for the reputation. In almost every class there is one person who wants to be the "class clown" of sorts. When the class laughs at them, they just go on until they are finally threatened with something to make them shut up or they are removed from class. This isn't a new feeling so much since I've always been annoyed by these types of people.
I never gave much thought to private school or uniforms but I think they are possibly a good thing. In a private school there is likely a standard of discipline that is expected and required. The uniform is one part of that and I think it would be an advantage. I'm all for individuality but that tends to single certain people out as the "popular kids" or the "dorks." Uniforms would put everyone on a level playing field to begin with. It's true that kids will be kids and there will be other reasons to pick fights or make fun of their peers if that's what they're going to do, but it could severely reduce the instances and give kids a chance they might not have otherwise.
I just think, with the ever expanding population of public schools, it's necessary to do something to deal with the increasing level of difficulty keeping students focused on learning. More importantly, it's necessary to keep the students who would distract those who want to learn in check and make sure they can't negatively effect the progress of those students.
This may be a rambling based on a few experiences and not a well-researched essay that might convince someone to agree with me, but it's something that occurred to me as an issue that needs some attention.
The public school system is very flawed. It seems that it's just not working. The number of children that don't appear to be getting any education at all is quite high from what I've seen. These classes have no structure and the students have no respect. There is more time spent trying to calm the kids down or bargain with them about doing their work than there is spent teaching.
This seems to mostly be the case with the upper class. The younger children still have the fear of adults that they will often listen when yelled at. The older students simply disrespect teachers for the reputation. In almost every class there is one person who wants to be the "class clown" of sorts. When the class laughs at them, they just go on until they are finally threatened with something to make them shut up or they are removed from class. This isn't a new feeling so much since I've always been annoyed by these types of people.
I never gave much thought to private school or uniforms but I think they are possibly a good thing. In a private school there is likely a standard of discipline that is expected and required. The uniform is one part of that and I think it would be an advantage. I'm all for individuality but that tends to single certain people out as the "popular kids" or the "dorks." Uniforms would put everyone on a level playing field to begin with. It's true that kids will be kids and there will be other reasons to pick fights or make fun of their peers if that's what they're going to do, but it could severely reduce the instances and give kids a chance they might not have otherwise.
I just think, with the ever expanding population of public schools, it's necessary to do something to deal with the increasing level of difficulty keeping students focused on learning. More importantly, it's necessary to keep the students who would distract those who want to learn in check and make sure they can't negatively effect the progress of those students.
This may be a rambling based on a few experiences and not a well-researched essay that might convince someone to agree with me, but it's something that occurred to me as an issue that needs some attention.
Wednesday, October 22, 2008
Decisions
Ah, mid-terms. While I don't have the usual exams that most students have during mid-terms, I have something equally as frustrating. I would actually much rather take an exam; I'm good at tests, not art. I have so much work due this week for all of my classes. Some of it is done and turned in. I had a sketch book with 42 self-portraits due yesterday, which I finished yesterday. I had a paper due in Art History on Monday which is finished Monday. I have a research paper due tomorrow for Color Theory which I just finished thanks to the class I'm substituting having a student teacher. I have a six-foot drawing due tomorrow that I haven't started yet. After work, I'm going to try to work on it a bit but then I'm playing disc golf. Hopefully I'll have some time after to finish it up. It might not be good but as long as it gets finished that will be good. My 3D sculpture is due tomorrow also. It's mostly done, I just need to sand it a little and then coat it. I'm just hoping to not be up until 3am.
Besides worrying about what assignments are due, I've been trying to decide what classes to take next semester. I'm not just concerned with which classes will fulfill my requirements, I'm wondering if I want to finish out the art program with a BA, a BFA or at all. I have been thinking about transferring to another major while I can use these art classes and not lose any credits. Right now these are my options:
-Take electives and some studio courses to get a BA in about three semesters.
-Take all studio classes for four or more semesters to get a BFA, a better degree.
-Start a new major like history, english or philosphy and get a BA in three semesters.
What to do? I'm not sure but I have to choose classes in about a week...
Besides worrying about what assignments are due, I've been trying to decide what classes to take next semester. I'm not just concerned with which classes will fulfill my requirements, I'm wondering if I want to finish out the art program with a BA, a BFA or at all. I have been thinking about transferring to another major while I can use these art classes and not lose any credits. Right now these are my options:
-Take electives and some studio courses to get a BA in about three semesters.
-Take all studio classes for four or more semesters to get a BFA, a better degree.
-Start a new major like history, english or philosphy and get a BA in three semesters.
What to do? I'm not sure but I have to choose classes in about a week...
Monday, October 13, 2008
I'd prefer not to be rescued...
I took a trip to New York on Saturday and rode my bike around. It was a great trip. I had a lot of fun just being in the city as always, but being on a bike made it that much better. It's so much easier and faster to get to a lot of places. There was one part of my trip in particular that made me happy. I was in Central Park riding back down from the northern part. I just climbed a pretty steep hill on my bike and I got to the top and started to coast down. As I did, a Jack's Mannequin song came on my ipod and it just felt perfect. No matter what else was going on in my life, what papers I had due for midterm or how bad I might feel about something, none of it mattered because I was just happy. I felt infinite. Like Charlie in The Perks of Being a Wallflower. That part of the book never meant much to me but now that I have felt that feeling, I just want it back. It was like anything was possible and I didn't need anything else to be happy, just myself. I feel like I belong in New York. I want to feel infinite again.
dm
Friday, October 10, 2008
Spreading germs
As midterms rapidly approach, I am spending much time procrastinating. I don't know why I can't heed the logical advice I would give anyone else and do my work a little at a time. Instead, I update blogs, watch House repeatedly and play disc golf for hours. I know it will come to the day or two before papers, paintings and sketchbooks are due and I will be up to stupid hours doing them when I have to be up early the next morning. As I type this I'm thinking I'll start to work on my sketchbook at least, since I have to do 42 self portraits in it before next Tuesday, so I could do 4 a day or just do a bunch all at once now and have it done. The papers I have to write shouldn't be too hard though. I would look forward to them more if they weren't on a subject I pretty much hate: art.
I saw Choke the other day. It wasn't bad but I think I need to watch it again further from when I read the book so it's not so fresh in my mind.
What else can I say that will waste more time? I published my newest short story on my other blog. Short (but Girthy). Go look at it and leave comments. I know you won't but I feel like I have to say it.
Maybe it's time to go.
I saw Choke the other day. It wasn't bad but I think I need to watch it again further from when I read the book so it's not so fresh in my mind.
What else can I say that will waste more time? I published my newest short story on my other blog. Short (but Girthy). Go look at it and leave comments. I know you won't but I feel like I have to say it.
Maybe it's time to go.
Thursday, October 2, 2008
My faves, for reel.. 2
Dead Poet's Society ranks right up at the top as another of my favorite movies. Robin Williams is a big selling point of course, but the movie stands on its own. It is greatly intellectual without being pretentious and it emphasizes the kind of effect a teacher can have on a student if the relationship is right. There is so much going on that is just about being young and having fun, but still enjoying knowledge. I would love to be in a group that is similar to their society. Sneaking off into the night to recite poetry in a cave is always fun!
I think the scene after Neil (Robert Sean Leonard, who is now my second favorite character on House) dies is extremely well done. After everyone finds out they go outside. It is snowing and gray and cold. Todd runs off down the snow covered hill, thrashing wildly. I feel like that scene is a great summation of how it feels to lose someone close and important to you. Everything is monotone, gray and cold; so cold, you're numb. You run and scream hoping someone will see or hear you and be able to feel what you feel and fix it, but there's just blankness all around. But eventually the snow melts and summer returns.
Mr. Keating: "To quote from Whitman, 'O me! O life!... of the questions of these recurring; of the endless trains of the faithless... of cities filled with the foolish; what good amid these, O me, O life?" Answer. That you are here - that life exists, and identity; that the powerful play goes on and you may contribute a verse.' That the powerful play *goes on* and you may contribute a verse. What will your verse be?"
“I went to the woods because I wished to live deliberately, to front only the essential facts of life, and see if I could not learn what it had to teach, and not, when I came to die, discover that I have not lived.” ~ Henry David Thoreau
Carpe Diem.
Tuesday, September 30, 2008
My faves, for reel..
Good Will Hunting is by far one of my favorite movies ever. Some of my favorite actors are in it: Matt Damon and Robin Williams. Ben Affleck plays a great character in this movie as well and I like him in many other things, he just doesn't rank at the top of my favorites list. The fact that he and Matt wrote the movie though does put him up there on my favorite writers list, even if this was the only movie they wrote that got made... so far.Anyway, the story in this film is just great. It's got the right amount of comedy mixed with drama. When there's drama, there's real drama too. One of my favorite scenes is when Sean puts Matt up against the wall by his throat for disrespecting his wife. It's so emotional you can feel it. That is starkly contrasted by the scenes in therapy where Sean and Will discuss the idiosyncrasies of his relationship with his wife, like when she farted in her sleep. The whole movie is emotional and very heartfelt.
In a way, I think I relate to the character of Will. I'm not a genius, I envy him in that regard, but I feel like I could be doing something much more intellectual a lot of the time. Mostly the way he pushes away people he cares about because he's afraid of being left or hurt I can relate to. And, like him, I realize that I have this problem and I do these things but I can't seem to change it. Watching this movie brings up sad feelings sometimes but, like all of my favorites, it lets me escape for a couple of hours into another world and be somewhere that I am guaranteed a happy ending.
And of course....
Will: Do you like apples?
Clark: Yeah..
Will: Well, I got her number. How do you like them apples?
I'm going to keep this up as a constant list of my favorite movies and keep the bloglist on the sidelines here.
Sunday, September 28, 2008
New Saint Debate
It seems like forever since I have updated on a computer and not with my phone. I have been busy.. sort of.. with school and work. I went to see New Found Glory last night. They were great as usual. They made it a point to play only fast songs. I have several bruises and a sore neck today but Chuck and I had a great time. It seems like it's been a while since I've been to a show so it was a lot of fun.
Today, Nate and I went to see Miracle at Saint Anna. I would recommend this movie to anyone. I thought it was great. It felt timeless to me. It didn't have any kind of special effects or anything to make it easy to identify when it was filmed and I really liked that. It was a long movie but I didn't even notice because I was into it so much. Check it out.
I have a lot of homework to do in the next week or so and I am also trying to work on songs, videos and some reading. I have been up tonight watching/listening to the presidential debate that I missed last night. I know I'm biased but I feel like Obama has a much better argument on a lot of things and I don't know if John McCain is just a bad public speaker or if he just really doesn't know a lot of thing, but he always seems to be mixing things up. In any case, the debate was good and I'm looking forward to the next one.
Today, Nate and I went to see Miracle at Saint Anna. I would recommend this movie to anyone. I thought it was great. It felt timeless to me. It didn't have any kind of special effects or anything to make it easy to identify when it was filmed and I really liked that. It was a long movie but I didn't even notice because I was into it so much. Check it out.
I have a lot of homework to do in the next week or so and I am also trying to work on songs, videos and some reading. I have been up tonight watching/listening to the presidential debate that I missed last night. I know I'm biased but I feel like Obama has a much better argument on a lot of things and I don't know if John McCain is just a bad public speaker or if he just really doesn't know a lot of thing, but he always seems to be mixing things up. In any case, the debate was good and I'm looking forward to the next one.
Friday, September 26, 2008
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Sunday, September 14, 2008
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Friday, September 12, 2008
Rice
I haven't updated in a long while. I've started school again and it sucks up a lot of my time. I only have class at Rowan on two days out of the week, Tuesday and Thursday. Those days, however, start at 8am and end at 7:15pm with no breaks in between the four classes. I've been pretty tired by the end of the days. I got to work a few times this week at the high school and Memorial. It was easy to get back into that job. I don't have anything interesting to say. I saw Burn After Reading tonight. It was a good movie, I would recommend it.
I'll be back soon with something more exciting.
I'll be back soon with something more exciting.
Saturday, August 30, 2008
Trees
I go to run at Parvins all the time. I run the same trail every time but it never gets old. Sometimes I have a hard time finishing my one lap of 3.1 miles but the other day when I got to the end I just kept going and went around a second time. Some days I just feel like running forever. I was listening to music and I just wanted to keep listening and moving so I did.I feel like running there is cathartic, like writing.
I get to leave a part of myself behind.
All of my old thoughts are stored in those woods and its comfortable there.
It's where the living meet the dead.
Why do I always think of you when I run downhill?
I can go there to think and solve problems.
I'm reminded of other times I've been there doing the same thing and that helps.
Ghosts of old ideas, worries and friends surround me.
Some days I just need another lap to get the help I need.
Thursday, August 14, 2008
We won't be saved
Isn't it great how clear things become at night?
It's like enhancement of senses.
When it gets dark, you lose some of your sight, but your vision becomes so much better.
I've received all your letters but I still can't make any words.
Come back to your senses.
It's the last exit before a toll.
The price you pay is repeating the past.
Will you stand by and wait, assuming the worst?
Make a move, make a call.
You never could take the first step on your own.
I'll be here.
Even when autumn drives you up the coast.
* * *
Tomorrow/tonight is Argyle Gargoyle's second show at Memories. I hope some of you can make it out, but it was a short notice show. I'm looking forward to just being up there to play again. I want to get lost in the moments that I'm on stage, even if there isn't a real stage. I'm feeling kind of sick, like the weird I-should-be-asleep-since-it's-5am sick. My eyes are making my stomach turn.
Am I just a fictional character?
It's like enhancement of senses.
When it gets dark, you lose some of your sight, but your vision becomes so much better.
I've received all your letters but I still can't make any words.
Come back to your senses.
It's the last exit before a toll.
The price you pay is repeating the past.
Will you stand by and wait, assuming the worst?
Make a move, make a call.
You never could take the first step on your own.
I'll be here.
Even when autumn drives you up the coast.
* * *
Tomorrow/tonight is Argyle Gargoyle's second show at Memories. I hope some of you can make it out, but it was a short notice show. I'm looking forward to just being up there to play again. I want to get lost in the moments that I'm on stage, even if there isn't a real stage. I'm feeling kind of sick, like the weird I-should-be-asleep-since-it's-5am sick. My eyes are making my stomach turn.
Am I just a fictional character?
Friday, August 8, 2008
What do I do?
I'm waiting to go out tonight. It seems like it's been a long time since I've been in a bar. I don't really have money to spend on beer but I'm going to anyway. I managed to book Argyle Gargoyle a show in September at Bridgewater Pub. Unfortunately it's 21+ but anyone who meets that criteria should come out and see us. It's Punk Night, so I'm not sure if we really fit the bill, but we'll still play it. Come watch us get booed by the real punk bands, that could be more entertaining to watch anyway. You can actually have beers while you're watching the bands at this place too, which will be a nice change. We've been working on our three (maybe four?) new songs and we'll definitely have two ready to play at our next show. We might still change things up in them, but they're good enough to let you guys hear. If you can't make it to Memories next Thursday, we'll be playing there the following Saturday also. Hope to see a lot of people make it out.
Besides the band, I've been trying to get together some of my solo stuff to do some home recordings of. I have a lot of lyrics with no music and some music with no lyrics that I'm going to try to put together into full acoustic/bass songs for your listening pleasure. And my own listening pleasure. I love writing things and posting my lyrics and poetry but some of the things I write really come across better as songs and I want to put them out that way. Hopefully that will happen soon.
I want to write more short fiction stories before going back to Rowan. They have a literary magazine for poetry and prose that I'd like to get into. I don't know in what way yet, but I'd like to get published somewhere. I don't really ever feel like my stuff is good enough to be put in print, but other people have told me it is and I'd like to see what I can do with it.
I have an idea for a film short also. It would be a pretty brief, one idea type of recording. I like the idea I have and I want to shoot it all in black and white (or transfer it to black and white later, however digital works.) When I get that started I will try to post some pieces of it if possible for criticism.
**I realize this has become a long list comprised of what I have been thinking about and doing on a daily basis.. but it's almost over.
I have been learning Russian over the past few weeks and doing pretty well too. I can only form one complete sentence so far but I can recite numbers up to ten, some of the alphabet (there are like ten more letters in the Russian alphabet, some of them are silent but still pronounced.. how does that work??), a few colors and my favorite, most of the human anatomy. The normal stuff I mean... hands, feet, elbows, hair, eyes, lips.. etc. I don't know how to say appendix or alveoli. I'll get there eventually, but I started with anatomy and it's my best area. It's a lot of fun learning another language, if for no other reason than being able to say things right in front of people without them knowing what you're talking about.
I think that's pretty much everything. I need to organize my pictures and get an online portfolio or my own website. My photos are pretty scattered around on different websites and folders on my computer. I'm bad at organization. I should also probably start drawing again to get ready for the onslaught of it I'll be facing in less than a month. Yikes.
Besides the band, I've been trying to get together some of my solo stuff to do some home recordings of. I have a lot of lyrics with no music and some music with no lyrics that I'm going to try to put together into full acoustic/bass songs for your listening pleasure. And my own listening pleasure. I love writing things and posting my lyrics and poetry but some of the things I write really come across better as songs and I want to put them out that way. Hopefully that will happen soon.
I want to write more short fiction stories before going back to Rowan. They have a literary magazine for poetry and prose that I'd like to get into. I don't know in what way yet, but I'd like to get published somewhere. I don't really ever feel like my stuff is good enough to be put in print, but other people have told me it is and I'd like to see what I can do with it.
I have an idea for a film short also. It would be a pretty brief, one idea type of recording. I like the idea I have and I want to shoot it all in black and white (or transfer it to black and white later, however digital works.) When I get that started I will try to post some pieces of it if possible for criticism.
**I realize this has become a long list comprised of what I have been thinking about and doing on a daily basis.. but it's almost over.
I have been learning Russian over the past few weeks and doing pretty well too. I can only form one complete sentence so far but I can recite numbers up to ten, some of the alphabet (there are like ten more letters in the Russian alphabet, some of them are silent but still pronounced.. how does that work??), a few colors and my favorite, most of the human anatomy. The normal stuff I mean... hands, feet, elbows, hair, eyes, lips.. etc. I don't know how to say appendix or alveoli. I'll get there eventually, but I started with anatomy and it's my best area. It's a lot of fun learning another language, if for no other reason than being able to say things right in front of people without them knowing what you're talking about.
I think that's pretty much everything. I need to organize my pictures and get an online portfolio or my own website. My photos are pretty scattered around on different websites and folders on my computer. I'm bad at organization. I should also probably start drawing again to get ready for the onslaught of it I'll be facing in less than a month. Yikes.
Leopard
I got this done today. I was going to do it bright red but I like the way it ended up like this. I get very bored quickly so I always want to change my hair. I let it grow long for a while, then I cut it short and change the color and then I let it grow long and start over again. Katie said I should dye my "beard" blue. I don't know about that.. what do you think?
Baby pictures
I got my first (sort of) real photo job completed today. A while ago, I took pictures of Diebra's son, Pollock, instead of her going to a studio. She really liked the product and these are the three photos she picked to make prints of:
I think she made good choices. I took a lot of shots, but these ones came out really well. It was hard to get him to smile, but every once in a while he would laugh and I would get a handful of good shots. I really like the second picture, he looks very introspective, if that's possible for a baby. I had fun doing it and I look forward to doing more photo shoots, hopefully with older people next time.
I think she made good choices. I took a lot of shots, but these ones came out really well. It was hard to get him to smile, but every once in a while he would laugh and I would get a handful of good shots. I really like the second picture, he looks very introspective, if that's possible for a baby. I had fun doing it and I look forward to doing more photo shoots, hopefully with older people next time.
Wednesday, August 6, 2008
I'm kinda flabbergasted when you say things like that...
When I woke up yesterday morning (or was it afternoon when I woke up?) I knew it was the day that my tuition payment was due at Rowan. I hadn't made an effort to find a loan on my own because one of the people I talked to assured me that my classes wouldn't be dropped until later and my loan information should be available by a few days after the "deadline." When I went there yesterday, the deadline had been pushed backed a week, giving me more time. I checked the site today just for the hell of it, finding, to my surprise, that my financial aid award information was posted!
This is the first time I have ever been offered any money at all to pay for school, so seeing a number like 17,000 with a dollar sign next to it is pretty crazy for me. The best part of all of it is that $5000 is in grants that I don't have to pay back! That's awesome. I'm happy and it feels good for once. The subsidized loan I accepted will take care of all but about $300 of my tuition bill. So I'm set for this year! I was ready to go through a bunch of shit with the financial aid office and late fees and dropped classes but this went perfectly! Let's hear it for waiting until the last minute to do things! Hooray!
Now, on to less important matters: my "new" blog! This is it.. I'm sure for anyone reading this, it's probably not a surprise that I've started, say it with me, ANOTHER blog, but this one is somewhat of a consolidation of others. This will be more of a community blog where I'll post pictures, comments on things I've done and just general things I like. Hopefully you can get involved too and post a comment every now and again. If you're at a loss for things to post about, tell me what you think...
Is the background too bright?
Do you like the banner? I just made it.. and yes, it's one of my pictures, I didn't steal it. I may have borrowed some lyrics for the title though.
I went to the drive-in tonight to see Step Brothers (again) and Pineapple Express. I enjoyed Step Brothers more this time around and Pineapple Express is a must see, especially for Seth Rogen fans (and honestly, who isn't a Seth Rogen fan? The man is a genius.) It reminded me of Bulletproof, genre-wise anyway. It's a lot more action than I expected but it's hilarious at the same time. The parts that I saw in the previews twenty times were still funny in the movie.
The other night I happened upon a few shows from my childhood that made me really happy to sit and watch. They were still really entertaining now... I did have a few rum and cokes before I watched it though.. just like when I was a kid.
What happened to Gambit when they made the movies??? He was always my favorite and I can imagine he would make a great screen character. Watching the cartoon made me realize they did a great job at casting the rest of the X-Men characters though. Kelsey Grammer was a good choice to play Beast and the rest is obvious. I also remember how much I hated Jubilee.
This made me want to go see The Dark Knight again, not that I really needed another reason. Harley Quinn was in it! I completely forgot about her.
I've said enough. Keep checking back as I'll be updating frequently I think. Leave soon, but first leave comments!
dm
| Fed. Direct Subsidized Loan | Accepted | $5,500.00 |
| Fed. Direct Unsubsidized Loan | Offered | $7,000.00 |
| Federal Pell Grant | Accepted | $4,731.00 |
| Federal SEOG | Accepted | $250.00 |
| Total | $17,481.00 | |
|---|---|---|
This is the first time I have ever been offered any money at all to pay for school, so seeing a number like 17,000 with a dollar sign next to it is pretty crazy for me. The best part of all of it is that $5000 is in grants that I don't have to pay back! That's awesome. I'm happy and it feels good for once. The subsidized loan I accepted will take care of all but about $300 of my tuition bill. So I'm set for this year! I was ready to go through a bunch of shit with the financial aid office and late fees and dropped classes but this went perfectly! Let's hear it for waiting until the last minute to do things! Hooray!
Now, on to less important matters: my "new" blog! This is it.. I'm sure for anyone reading this, it's probably not a surprise that I've started, say it with me, ANOTHER blog, but this one is somewhat of a consolidation of others. This will be more of a community blog where I'll post pictures, comments on things I've done and just general things I like. Hopefully you can get involved too and post a comment every now and again. If you're at a loss for things to post about, tell me what you think...
Is the background too bright?
Do you like the banner? I just made it.. and yes, it's one of my pictures, I didn't steal it. I may have borrowed some lyrics for the title though.
I went to the drive-in tonight to see Step Brothers (again) and Pineapple Express. I enjoyed Step Brothers more this time around and Pineapple Express is a must see, especially for Seth Rogen fans (and honestly, who isn't a Seth Rogen fan? The man is a genius.) It reminded me of Bulletproof, genre-wise anyway. It's a lot more action than I expected but it's hilarious at the same time. The parts that I saw in the previews twenty times were still funny in the movie.
The other night I happened upon a few shows from my childhood that made me really happy to sit and watch. They were still really entertaining now... I did have a few rum and cokes before I watched it though.. just like when I was a kid.
What happened to Gambit when they made the movies??? He was always my favorite and I can imagine he would make a great screen character. Watching the cartoon made me realize they did a great job at casting the rest of the X-Men characters though. Kelsey Grammer was a good choice to play Beast and the rest is obvious. I also remember how much I hated Jubilee.
This made me want to go see The Dark Knight again, not that I really needed another reason. Harley Quinn was in it! I completely forgot about her.
I've said enough. Keep checking back as I'll be updating frequently I think. Leave soon, but first leave comments!
dm
Saturday, July 19, 2008
Die a hero, or live long enough to see yourself become the villain
I'm probably thinking way too much to come across as coherent on any level but I just feel like typing and typing and not stopping because this is the only thing that makes me feel remotely okay. It felt like I just snapped into a waking coma all of a sudden. I don't feel anything. I'm not happy, sad, angry... if anything I guess I'm just concerned. Overly concerned. That's how I feel I guess, really worried but I don't know about what. There's just an overwhelming sense of concern right now and not knowing why is worse than actually having something to focus on because now I'm focusing on everything, which consequently leads me to be focused on absolutely nothing at the exact same time. It's a wonderfully fun paradox. I'm jittery like I can't sit still. More than usual. My brain is pulsing in dark and light flashes and it's scary and confusing at the same time. I feel like this is going crazy. I wondered what it would feel like to go insane and this seems like what it would be. I feel like walking around in the rain, but it's a nice clear night. Maybe I just need a walk to clear my head.. or fill my head with something I can think about for longer than ten seconds. I need to sleep. Sleep cures most. I'll wake up and forget all this was happening. Good luck to me.
Hypocritical Oath
Reading other people's blogs makes me feel inadequate sometimes. Not always, mind you. Some blogs out there are as pointless as can be (I'm sure the argument could be made for all of mine as well.) I try to post creative writings of some sort, something that could entertain someone on some of my blogs. Others are more for me than anyone else, like my photoblog. It's nice to be able to share the pictures with people when we do things together, but I like having a photo record of all the things I did that I can look back on later in life. I'm sure I'll be really happy that I did it since I already am.
Anyway, back on point, I've been reading the blog of a medical student that has chronicled his four years of medical school and now his residency. I know these people exist out there but reading his words and seeing how similar we think about things really makes me feel like I've made horrible decisions about my life. I think this on a regular basis anyway, but here I am at 24 in my mom's house with a crappy job (or no job?) at a camera shop working my way through years of college I should have finished when I was 20. Not growing up is only an attractive quality in rock stars and actors who can afford it. When you're someone like me, you're not getting cooler, you're just getting older. I don't take chances and I've been spoiled with the luxuries of living rent-free and having food in the house that I don't have to buy. It seems nice, but if I were forced to move out or pay rent or anything along those lines, I think it would make me a better person and help push me in the direction that I can't seem to push myself.
This is another thing that I always wonder "why can't I make the change if I can realize the problem??" And I don't know. I just need to go. I know people say this all the time, but I just need to move out, go somewhere unkown and start new. I would love to move to New York and just live however I can. It would be more like life than what I'm doing here.
Or would it? Is "living" really fulfilling societal standards of getting that degree that says you put in your time at some overpriced institution that really only taught you about meeting smart girls and drinking large amount of alcohol followed by acquiring a middle class job that takes up most of your time in adulthood? I feel like I've lived this summer already, taking camping trips and making the most of my days when I have the opportunity.
Perhaps my lifestyle is based on my ingrained sense that I won't live to an old age. Or maybe I'm just procrastinating growing up like I procrastinate everything else. That's all for now. Off to live a little.
Anyway, back on point, I've been reading the blog of a medical student that has chronicled his four years of medical school and now his residency. I know these people exist out there but reading his words and seeing how similar we think about things really makes me feel like I've made horrible decisions about my life. I think this on a regular basis anyway, but here I am at 24 in my mom's house with a crappy job (or no job?) at a camera shop working my way through years of college I should have finished when I was 20. Not growing up is only an attractive quality in rock stars and actors who can afford it. When you're someone like me, you're not getting cooler, you're just getting older. I don't take chances and I've been spoiled with the luxuries of living rent-free and having food in the house that I don't have to buy. It seems nice, but if I were forced to move out or pay rent or anything along those lines, I think it would make me a better person and help push me in the direction that I can't seem to push myself.
This is another thing that I always wonder "why can't I make the change if I can realize the problem??" And I don't know. I just need to go. I know people say this all the time, but I just need to move out, go somewhere unkown and start new. I would love to move to New York and just live however I can. It would be more like life than what I'm doing here.
Or would it? Is "living" really fulfilling societal standards of getting that degree that says you put in your time at some overpriced institution that really only taught you about meeting smart girls and drinking large amount of alcohol followed by acquiring a middle class job that takes up most of your time in adulthood? I feel like I've lived this summer already, taking camping trips and making the most of my days when I have the opportunity.
Perhaps my lifestyle is based on my ingrained sense that I won't live to an old age. Or maybe I'm just procrastinating growing up like I procrastinate everything else. That's all for now. Off to live a little.
Friday, July 18, 2008
When Your Heart Stops Beating
It's 11AM on the day of my first show with my new band, Argyle Gargoyle. I'm not nervous at all right now, I just think I'll mess up a few times. It won't even really matter probably because no one will notice unless it's really bad. I need a personality when I play bass. I usually just stand there because I'm concentrating on what I'm doing. I still remember someone, I think Tracy, telling me that I look pissed off when I play. That was from the Forty West show though and that was a long time ago. I'm much more confident now. I think we're ready, I just wish I did more in the band. I want to write songs. I've written so many things I want to put them out there in more than poetry form. The show is gonna sneak up on me today I think. We're going to see The Dark Knight in about an hour and after the movie is over it will be almost time to leave and get to the venue. Oh well, I think I'm ready.
I'm always afraid I'm not doing something right.
I'm always trying to get back some part of my life I think I missed.
I don't want to die young, but I've always had this feeling.
I'm shedding the skin I was born in.
Not sure if I want to know what's underneath.
I'm looking for the same thing you are.
I'm always afraid I'm not doing something right.
I'm always trying to get back some part of my life I think I missed.
I don't want to die young, but I've always had this feeling.
I'm shedding the skin I was born in.
Not sure if I want to know what's underneath.
I'm looking for the same thing you are.
Wednesday, July 16, 2008
It's way too easy to fake that smile
I've been on a winding mountain road of emotion lately. (There's no way to describe your emotions generally without sounding cheesy and cliche.) Just when I get comfortable with one thing, there's a sharp curve and a steep incline to test my engine. Every once in a while I just have to pull over and look under the hood to see if I'm really gonna make it to the other side. Some nights I just run out of gas, like last night. I treat my life like I treat a squeaky wheel though, I just turn up the music so loud that I can't hear it. Eventually that wheel's gonna fall off, but I'd rather ignore it for now and keep enjoying the ride. When the music shuts off though, that's all I can hear. The squeaky realization that something isn't right and I should have done something about it a long time ago before I was on this deserted road with no service station for miles. Luckily someone just happened to be traveling the same road in the dark with me and helped me put that squeak to rest for a while longer.
Or did she? As down as I was feeling last night, I felt better by the time I came home. I was back in my seat of complacency, ready to eat a hot pocket and go to bed watching Curb Your Enthusiasm. I don't even know what it was that set me off yesterday. There was nothing bad that happened, but when I got onto high street and started walking around it just hit me. I was looking at all the places I had been and thinking about people. We walked by the Oarhouse and Dave's old house, which made me think I'm going nowhere in life. I know I'm working on my degree but I'm twenty four and Dave has live on his own for years and owns a house now. I try to make myself feel better by thinking about the people I know with bachelor's degrees that don't have real jobs or live out of their parent's house yet but it still doesn't help. I realize I don't do anything to better my situation. Right now I should be filling out a FAFSA and looking for loans because half of my school payment is due in less than three weeks. I don't want to fuck this up, I need to go to school and get it over with.
Sometimes I miss what I had. Or could have. But it's not worth it anymore is it? I think I kept it going for so long because I thought one day I would lose the desire to be with anyone else and things would be perfect. It was such a domestic existence a lot of the time, I'm surprised I was so okay with living it. But I was. I didn't mind just sitting around watching movies as long as we got to go on a trip every now and then. I don't know if it's fear of commitment or if it really is just that we're not right for each other, but it always seemed weird to be away for too long. I felt like this time I could really be comfortable being away from her and maybe I can but there are moments like these when I miss that touch. It's a feeling that I haven't gotten from anyone else. It feels good, just happy. It feels like joy, as corny as that sounds. Laying with someone else in bed never felt anything like it. We just fit. Even after everything sexual, I still wanted to be there. Just sleeping with her was always great. Not that I don't miss the sexual stuff too, because that was always incredible. I would think there has to be something with someone that you have so much sexual chemistry with. Maybe it's because it's been so long we just have each other figured out, but everything was always perfect and amazing. That must count for something, right?
So why am I so conflicted? I am immature. Little things set me off. If there's an argument, I don't usually make the first move, I wait. And if a move from them never comes, I go on. That's who I am. For better or worse. Or worse. I'm just afraid that by the time I figure out who I really am and what I really want, there won't be anyone around to share it with.
Or did she? As down as I was feeling last night, I felt better by the time I came home. I was back in my seat of complacency, ready to eat a hot pocket and go to bed watching Curb Your Enthusiasm. I don't even know what it was that set me off yesterday. There was nothing bad that happened, but when I got onto high street and started walking around it just hit me. I was looking at all the places I had been and thinking about people. We walked by the Oarhouse and Dave's old house, which made me think I'm going nowhere in life. I know I'm working on my degree but I'm twenty four and Dave has live on his own for years and owns a house now. I try to make myself feel better by thinking about the people I know with bachelor's degrees that don't have real jobs or live out of their parent's house yet but it still doesn't help. I realize I don't do anything to better my situation. Right now I should be filling out a FAFSA and looking for loans because half of my school payment is due in less than three weeks. I don't want to fuck this up, I need to go to school and get it over with.
Sometimes I miss what I had. Or could have. But it's not worth it anymore is it? I think I kept it going for so long because I thought one day I would lose the desire to be with anyone else and things would be perfect. It was such a domestic existence a lot of the time, I'm surprised I was so okay with living it. But I was. I didn't mind just sitting around watching movies as long as we got to go on a trip every now and then. I don't know if it's fear of commitment or if it really is just that we're not right for each other, but it always seemed weird to be away for too long. I felt like this time I could really be comfortable being away from her and maybe I can but there are moments like these when I miss that touch. It's a feeling that I haven't gotten from anyone else. It feels good, just happy. It feels like joy, as corny as that sounds. Laying with someone else in bed never felt anything like it. We just fit. Even after everything sexual, I still wanted to be there. Just sleeping with her was always great. Not that I don't miss the sexual stuff too, because that was always incredible. I would think there has to be something with someone that you have so much sexual chemistry with. Maybe it's because it's been so long we just have each other figured out, but everything was always perfect and amazing. That must count for something, right?
So why am I so conflicted? I am immature. Little things set me off. If there's an argument, I don't usually make the first move, I wait. And if a move from them never comes, I go on. That's who I am. For better or worse. Or worse. I'm just afraid that by the time I figure out who I really am and what I really want, there won't be anyone around to share it with.
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