Die a hero, or live long enough to see yourself become the villain

I'm probably thinking way too much to come across as coherent on any level but I just feel like typing and typing and not stopping because this is the only thing that makes me feel remotely okay. It felt like I just snapped into a waking coma all of a sudden. I don't feel anything. I'm not happy, sad, angry... if anything I guess I'm just concerned. Overly concerned. That's how I feel I guess, really worried but I don't know about what. There's just an overwhelming sense of concern right now and not knowing why is worse than actually having something to focus on because now I'm focusing on everything, which consequently leads me to be focused on absolutely nothing at the exact same time. It's a wonderfully fun paradox. I'm jittery like I can't sit still. More than usual. My brain is pulsing in dark and light flashes and it's scary and confusing at the same time. I feel like this is going crazy. I wondered what it would feel like to go insane and this seems like what it would be. I feel like walking around in the rain, but it's a nice clear night. Maybe I just need a walk to clear my head.. or fill my head with something I can think about for longer than ten seconds. I need to sleep. Sleep cures most. I'll wake up and forget all this was happening. Good luck to me.