Wet drive

I pulled out a few great albums I haven't listened to in quite a while and had a drive in the rain tonight. Brand New's "The Devil and God are Raging Inside Me" brought back some memories, thne I went even farther back in time with "Emotion is Dead" by The Juliana Theory. Great rain music. Good memories.

Uniform

It is a strange part of getting older when you realize your perspective on things has changed so drastically. For so long it has seemed that I never felt so far removed from high school. When I would substitute for high school classes, I would often sympathize with the way the students felt and remember how it was for me. Today, also while substituting, I realized I felt very differently about things that I was once sure I would always believe.

The public school system is very flawed. It seems that it's just not working. The number of children that don't appear to be getting any education at all is quite high from what I've seen. These classes have no structure and the students have no respect. There is more time spent trying to calm the kids down or bargain with them about doing their work than there is spent teaching.

This seems to mostly be the case with the upper class. The younger children still have the fear of adults that they will often listen when yelled at. The older students simply disrespect teachers for the reputation. In almost every class there is one person who wants to be the "class clown" of sorts. When the class laughs at them, they just go on until they are finally threatened with something to make them shut up or they are removed from class. This isn't a new feeling so much since I've always been annoyed by these types of people.

I never gave much thought to private school or uniforms but I think they are possibly a good thing. In a private school there is likely a standard of discipline that is expected and required. The uniform is one part of that and I think it would be an advantage. I'm all for individuality but that tends to single certain people out as the "popular kids" or the "dorks." Uniforms would put everyone on a level playing field to begin with. It's true that kids will be kids and there will be other reasons to pick fights or make fun of their peers if that's what they're going to do, but it could severely reduce the instances and give kids a chance they might not have otherwise.

I just think, with the ever expanding population of public schools, it's necessary to do something to deal with the increasing level of difficulty keeping students focused on learning. More importantly, it's necessary to keep the students who would distract those who want to learn in check and make sure they can't negatively effect the progress of those students.

This may be a rambling based on a few experiences and not a well-researched essay that might convince someone to agree with me, but it's something that occurred to me as an issue that needs some attention.

Decisions

Ah, mid-terms. While I don't have the usual exams that most students have during mid-terms, I have something equally as frustrating. I would actually much rather take an exam; I'm good at tests, not art. I have so much work due this week for all of my classes. Some of it is done and turned in. I had a sketch book with 42 self-portraits due yesterday, which I finished yesterday. I had a paper due in Art History on Monday which is finished Monday. I have a research paper due tomorrow for Color Theory which I just finished thanks to the class I'm substituting having a student teacher. I have a six-foot drawing due tomorrow that I haven't started yet. After work, I'm going to try to work on it a bit but then I'm playing disc golf. Hopefully I'll have some time after to finish it up. It might not be good but as long as it gets finished that will be good. My 3D sculpture is due tomorrow also. It's mostly done, I just need to sand it a little and then coat it. I'm just hoping to not be up until 3am.

Besides worrying about what assignments are due, I've been trying to decide what classes to take next semester. I'm not just concerned with which classes will fulfill my requirements, I'm wondering if I want to finish out the art program with a BA, a BFA or at all. I have been thinking about transferring to another major while I can use these art classes and not lose any credits. Right now these are my options:

-Take electives and some studio courses to get a BA in about three semesters.
-Take all studio classes for four or more semesters to get a BFA, a better degree.
-Start a new major like history, english or philosphy and get a BA in three semesters.

What to do? I'm not sure but I have to choose classes in about a week...

I'd prefer not to be rescued...

I took a trip to New York on Saturday and rode my bike around. It was a great trip. I had a lot of fun just being in the city as always, but being on a bike made it that much better. It's so much easier and faster to get to a lot of places. There was one part of my trip in particular that made me happy. I was in Central Park riding back down from the northern part. I just climbed a pretty steep hill on my bike and I got to the top and started to coast down. As I did, a Jack's Mannequin song came on my ipod and it just felt perfect. No matter what else was going on in my life, what papers I had due for midterm or how bad I might feel about something, none of it mattered because I was just happy. I felt infinite. Like Charlie in The Perks of Being a Wallflower. That part of the book never meant much to me but now that I have felt that feeling, I just want it back. It was like anything was possible and I didn't need anything else to be happy, just myself. I feel like I belong in New York. I want to feel infinite again.

dm

Spreading germs

As midterms rapidly approach, I am spending much time procrastinating. I don't know why I can't heed the logical advice I would give anyone else and do my work a little at a time. Instead, I update blogs, watch House repeatedly and play disc golf for hours. I know it will come to the day or two before papers, paintings and sketchbooks are due and I will be up to stupid hours doing them when I have to be up early the next morning. As I type this I'm thinking I'll start to work on my sketchbook at least, since I have to do 42 self portraits in it before next Tuesday, so I could do 4 a day or just do a bunch all at once now and have it done. The papers I have to write shouldn't be too hard though. I would look forward to them more if they weren't on a subject I pretty much hate: art.

I saw Choke the other day. It wasn't bad but I think I need to watch it again further from when I read the book so it's not so fresh in my mind.

What else can I say that will waste more time? I published my newest short story on my other blog. Short (but Girthy). Go look at it and leave comments. I know you won't but I feel like I have to say it.

Maybe it's time to go.

My faves, for reel.. 2

Dead Poet's Society ranks right up at the top as another of my favorite movies. Robin Williams is a big selling point of course, but the movie stands on its own. It is greatly intellectual without being pretentious and it emphasizes the kind of effect a teacher can have on a student if the relationship is right. There is so much going on that is just about being young and having fun, but still enjoying knowledge. I would love to be in a group that is similar to their society. Sneaking off into the night to recite poetry in a cave is always fun!

I think the scene after Neil (Robert Sean Leonard, who is now my second favorite character on House) dies is extremely well done. After everyone finds out they go outside. It is snowing and gray and cold. Todd runs off down the snow covered hill, thrashing wildly. I feel like that scene is a great summation of how it feels to lose someone close and important to you. Everything is monotone, gray and cold; so cold, you're numb. You run and scream hoping someone will see or hear you and be able to feel what you feel and fix it, but there's just blankness all around. But eventually the snow melts and summer returns.

Mr. Keating: "To quote from Whitman, 'O me! O life!... of the questions of these recurring; of the endless trains of the faithless... of cities filled with the foolish; what good amid these, O me, O life?" Answer. That you are here - that life exists, and identity; that the powerful play goes on and you may contribute a verse.' That the powerful play *goes on* and you may contribute a verse. What will your verse be?"

“I went to the woods because I wished to live deliberately, to front only the essential facts of life, and see if I could not learn what it had to teach, and not, when I came to die, discover that I have not lived.” ~ Henry David Thoreau

Carpe Diem.