I'm always coming down from the night before....

Picture of the day. It's hard to find the beauty in a place where you spend most of your days going to class. I do enjoy a lot of my time at Rowan, however. It is so much better than Cumberland County College, there are no words to describe it. The people, professors and students, the classes in general and just the atmosphere of academia. It's nice. I can have a regular conversation with my professors because they are closer to my age. I even have a good relationship with professors that I had the past two semesters. I just talked to one of them today and it just made me happy that we can talk like friends.

You can just stop talkin', I get it

Picture of the day. Not so great but this is pretty much what the day was about. It was an official snow day! Rowan closed its campus in Glassboro for the whole day, making three weeks in a row that I didn't go to my wednesday night ethics class! She cancelled the first week and last week it was snowy and we didn't feel like going up since our other class was cancelled and this week it's a snow day! We're never going to go to that class. Snow days have a connotation of fun that I suppose was instilled in elementary school. No school means we're going out to build snowmen, have snowball fights, go sledding and then drink hot chocolate. Well, we did a few of those things at least. Now we replace hot chocolate with beer though. The feeling of the snow day is just as good though because you get to sleep in and then wake up and have fun. I mean, it would probably be more prudent to use the time off to catch up on work that we are behind on but hey.. I want a damn snow day. And I got one.

"You can just stop talkin', I get it
I hear your silence loud and clear
I know it's barely a thought but it'll see us through
I'm only settin' you free so just let it happen
Let it happen, no need to fear
Yeah, you can just stop talkin', I get it.."
~Plus 44

Where did I go wrong?

Picture of the day. It was all snow all day today. It didn't stick for the first twelve hours but when it started, it really came down. It piled up really fast. It was just starting when I went to take a math test and it was piled high when I got done. Everything piles up fast like that. You put off hanging out hanging out with a friend every now and then, before you know it, it's been years. So much happens so quickly and you really see that from a different perspective when you talk to someone that you haven't seen in a long time. Things change and people go on when you're not there. They might be out of sight for a while, but one day unexpectedly they show up like the snow and bring some happy memories along with them. Go play in the snow.

"Where did I go wrong, I lost a friend
Somewhere along in the bitterness
And I would have stayed up with you all night
Had I known how to save a life..."
~The Fray

So I finally decided to give myself a reason

Picture of the day. The weather was great out today but I had to miss it because I was in school of one form or another all day. I've always had a hard time weighing the benefits of sacrificing life in the present to ensure better life down the road. Maybe that has a lot to do with my strange feeling that I wouldn't live too long. I think I've already outlived my expectations, maybe that's why I feel so lost about what I'm doing; I didn't think I'd have to figure it out. That probably sounds weird. Anyway, I'm here and trying to work toward something while not letting too much of life go by in the process. Maybe it's too late for that, but I can't give up now even if it seems like a lost cause. I hope I can be content and happy one day with what I'm doing in life. It's hard for me to picture myself in the places I'd like to be.

"It's a night of many frightening things to take in
It's not the way we please ourselves or our friends
It's what we won't accept
It's what will scare us now
Is ourselves, it's ourselves"
~I Can Make a Mess Like Nobody's Business

I've never lived closer to danger, but I've never felt safer

Picture of the day. It was a beautiful day out. The sun was out, no clouds and the temperature was up to at least 50. It was nice walking outside with a t-shirt on and driving for a short time with the windows cracked. As much as I like skiing, I could do without the cold. I would just take vacations to the cold places to go skiing and enjoy the warmth for the rest of the year.

The snow was mostly melted today. The weather warmed up and so did everything else just like I planned. Going to sleep seems like a passive solution to things, but it's really just a good way to calm down. It works for me at least. I can be really worked up about something and I don't really have any other way to feel better about it.. for the most part. So going to sleep, which is sometimes hard to do when you're upset, seems to work. I wake up and it's like nothing ever happened. This only works for the "small" things, by the way. A lot of things are still there when you wake up.

Today I watched Pride and Glory. I pretty much like to watch anything with Ed Norton in it because I know it will be good. This was no exception. It's a great cop movie. It's a great action movie. Things jump off pretty quickly and they don't really stop. It moves fast but you feel like you know the characters right away. It put me in the mood for more movies like Lucky Number Slevin and Snatch even though they're not the same.

I watched Green Street Hooligans last week. It was a great movie about a kid who gets expelled from Harvard and falls in with a football firm in London, learning things he never did at his Ivy League school. More than that, he gains a sense of belonging and loyalty. Definitely something to check out if you haven't seen it.

Matt Buckner: "Once you've taken a few punches and realize you're not made of glass, you don't feel alive unless you're pushing yourself as far as you can go."

If home is where the heart is then we're all just fucked

Pictures of the day. Crazy awesome sunset at Union Lake today on the way home. It was cold all day. Very cold. I was out in it a lot today between disc golf and taking pictures.

I got to the lake at just the perfect time as this was happening. I forgot my tiny tripod again but luckily it was light enough to get some good shots without it.

The outdoors wasn't the only place I got the cold shoulder tonight.. That wasn't very good, but neither was what it's referring to. It's stupid. It's all better now, or I hope so anyway. Halfway to AC we turned around and came back. Side of the road. Flashers. State Trooper. Colder inside than out.. both ways I guess. It's warming up again though. Let's keep the heat on for a while.

PS... I'm ready for spring to come back already.

"And I want it so bad I'd shoot the sunshine into my veins
I can't remember
the good old days...."
~Fall Out Boy

You'll see colors again

Picture of the day. After a mostly boring day, we went to Philly to Maoz for falafel. It was great as always. It was quite cold out but it was a good time being out with friends. We walked around the city a little, spending most of the time walking in the subway tunnels to keep warm. I always look forward to little trips like these because they're just as much fun as big trips to me. I prefer small trips with bigger groups of people to large trips. Maybe. I'm not sure, but they're at least equal. I just want more hanging out, going to bars and just doing things as a group.

"The world you painted was new
the colors were so alive
took a lie and made it true
a final touch and then right into the painting you dive..
But it's okay if you break
(you'll see colors again)
This is more than you can take
(you'll see colors again)
It's your life that's at stake
Don't you think it's my time, anytime soon?"
~Blindside