So I finally decided to give myself a reason

Picture of the day. The weather was great out today but I had to miss it because I was in school of one form or another all day. I've always had a hard time weighing the benefits of sacrificing life in the present to ensure better life down the road. Maybe that has a lot to do with my strange feeling that I wouldn't live too long. I think I've already outlived my expectations, maybe that's why I feel so lost about what I'm doing; I didn't think I'd have to figure it out. That probably sounds weird. Anyway, I'm here and trying to work toward something while not letting too much of life go by in the process. Maybe it's too late for that, but I can't give up now even if it seems like a lost cause. I hope I can be content and happy one day with what I'm doing in life. It's hard for me to picture myself in the places I'd like to be.

"It's a night of many frightening things to take in
It's not the way we please ourselves or our friends
It's what we won't accept
It's what will scare us now
Is ourselves, it's ourselves"
~I Can Make a Mess Like Nobody's Business